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this is the story of a girl

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14th December 2004

9:24pm: new lj


www.livejournal.com/users/make_it_painful




addd ittT!!!!<33

11th December 2004

8:35pm: O MAN.. HERES SOMEPICTURES!
AMAZING WEEKEND..
title or description

stolen off karen<3Collapse )
Current Mood: giddy

10th December 2004

9:54pm: theres just some people that i dont get.. nor never will..
yeh well this weekend was pretty chill other then hearing some shit.. i dont understand why you couldnt just tell me.. i actually considered u as a friend.. u said u understood where iw as comming from.. did you really? hm. yeh w/e shit happens.. best of luck

friday: chilled with karen and allison and had a lot of laughs.. it was amazing and we have pictures to prove.. ill probably steal them from karen or something. then they slept over and we were all just chillingg and singing and dancing then we went to rite aid and karen got yelled at for playing on her toy guitar .. stupid old man! haha.. i havent had that much fun in a while..and we totally reinacted the titanic.. HAHAH u guys are amazing.. anyways so they slept over.. we watched some mr.bean then we alljust passed out.

saturday: all three of us went toplay practice.. then me and karen were walking back and this guy like trips and he tries to play it off and totally sucks at it.. so me and karen break out in a laugh.. yeh so today i was sopposed to go to a concert with karen and ricky and some other people..but turns out we all didnt go.so then me and karenwent back to rite aid to see something adn we asked that same old man how much something was and hej ust kept talking for like 2 minutes and hesl ike do you want it.. and i was like NO:-) andhe just stared at me.. so i stared back... and we both just walk out. lol it was funny. then we met up with mike nd had a chill time..too bad i didnt get to see ricky today.. maybe tomorrow then?? hope so<3

i couldnt ask for better TRUE friends.






i can try but i can only get so far...
Current Mood: aggravated

5th December 2004

10:31pm: finally there<33333
<3ricky

120504











...wonderful***
Current Mood: loved

29th November 2004

12:13am: i just realized..
i dont need you..
soo goodbye




anyways.. so sofar everythigns been chill.. omar called me from florida..<33
i cant wait till he visits.. exxxiting.

thats all

i love you
Current Mood: accomplished

25th November 2004

1:45am: fuck it
its over and one
wat said is said
yes it hurts but whose to blame
no one but myself
i had everything i ever wanted
i had happiness.. i had love
yet again .. i fucked up
i miss you.. and yes i still want you
why.. not sure.. u treat me like shit..
i dotn even have to do anything and i fuck up..
talk about sucking at life.
yes. love is powerful.. it can make or break you
in my case.. its breaking over and over and over again.
i wish i could just hug you and tell you that i want you back
and that your my everything.. and ic ouldnt live with out you..
never again will i get that chance.
Current Mood: envious

22nd November 2004

7:04am: i remember when you told me that i was your everything.. id kill to get that back
yeh long entry... wasnt feeling to lovely.. and i was just thinkgin about some old times of when i actually was happy and yeh just got a tad bit more.. um.. gloomy.. so yeh this is wat i came up with its like a mix of some songs and quotes.. read it.. its interesting!




~*~*~*~*~*~I saw your new girlfriend the other day ..nd i expected for her to be so much m o r e than she was ..I checked out her style, the way she smiled
The way she moved, the things she said ...The way she looked at me like, "i got your man" ...She C A N T hold you like i can ..Boy you a fool if you can't realize what you had ...cus im a girl thats a l w a y s standin by my man ...When we were together...you told me what u didn't like..
And you went out and got E X A C T L Y that type ..E V E R Y T H I N G that i did W R O N G .she A L W A Y S did R I G H T ..


~*~*~*~*~*~I'm writing to you..not to tell you, that I hate you...just to ask you
how you feel...and H O W we fell apart...how T H I S fell apart
are you happy out there in this great w i d e w o r l d ?
do you think about m e when you lay your head down
how do you sleep at night?...do you even w o n d e r if im all right?


~*~*~*~*~*~it's been a L O N G H A R D road w i t h ou t you by my s i d e ..why weren't you there all the nights that i cried... it's not ok..but those were just a l o n g l o s t m e m o r y of mine..I spent so many years learning how to s u r v i v e
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I ' m s t i l l a l i v e


~*~*~*~*~*~S e p a r a t e my soul..With a l l the things we shared...I'm fallin' to p i e c e s now
Say a prayer for me...When you go to bed...Maybe I'm just S C A R E D
To face the things I fear...It's easier to w a l k a w a y f r o m E V E R Y T H I N G
sometimes...I forgive yeah and this time....I'll admit
that I M I S S Y O U , said I M I S S Y O U
I have been Searching for.... T r a c e s of What we w e r e
A g h o s t of you...is a l l t h a t I h a v e l e f t ....is all that I have left of you to h o l d
I wake in the night to find there's n o o n e t h e r e b u t m e ...and N O T H I N G left of what we were at all....and I'm not looking for..... a n y t h i n g b u t u s
a n y t h i n g b u t w h a t w e w e r e ...and I'm not asking for.... p a i n t e d m e m o r i e s
I only want to know you're here....


~*~*~*~*~*~Wat wud u do if E V E R Y T I M E u fell in love u had to say g o o d - b y e ? Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of r e j e c t i o n was too hard to handle? i used to know the sound of your smile in your voice... P L E A S E D O N T W A L K A W A Y .....im falling down.. its SO obvious to everyone.. BUT y o u ....ur h e a r t decides who it likes and who it doesn't. u c a n t tell ur heart what to do. It does it on its own....when u l e a s t s u s p e c t it or even when you D O N T W A N T I T T O O ..or when its P O I N T L E S S ! ! ! ! .*What would you do if you L O V E D someone M O R E T H A N E V E R and you c o u l d n ' t have them? *What would you do if e v e r y t i m e y o u w a n t e d s o m e o n e they would N E V E R be there they way you wanted them too? another day of n o t h i n g but y o u in my head..i hate the fact that i H A D you..and now i d o n t . .
i hate M E

~*~*~*~*~*~time to say g o o d b y e
even though it h u r t s l i k e c r a z y
time to l e t g o ...ur not s h i t to him a n y m o r e ..another p a g e in his b o o k
hes done it.. w h y c a n t y o u
P L E A S E J U S T G O A W A Y !


wow..
i love you
Current Mood: crushed
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